Powerbait's Year Off

I quit my job with no prospects - I am going to write about it. Every day if I have to.

Last year was one of the hardest years of my professional life. I have had a number of hard years, both professionally and personally, so I’m no stranger to struggle. To be fair, who isn’t? But last year felt like the culmination of a lifetime of struggles coming to a head.

Thankfully, I’m married to a wonderfully supportive spouse. She saw where life was headed for me and intervened. She once again saved my life. Not everyone needs a person to save their life, but I certainly do. I posted about this on Facebook, but I think a little background is important here for the hows and the whys of my journey to this point.

I have an immense amount of privilege in my life. I am a straight, white, cishet man. I was born to college educated parents. My father owned his own business. My mother was an educator and a librarian. I learned fiscal responsibility at a young age. My parents’ helped pay for my college degree.

I had a hard journey to the person I am today. I was raised in a fairly traditional home, an older brother and sister. I went to church. My parents were conservative. I went to public school, but private school was an option. I know my extended family. I am surrounded by stability. A rock solid foundation.

But my foundation did have some variety…my father’s parents were gone before I was born. He was a stern and focused man for most of my formative years. He worked too hard at his own business and tried very hard to live up to conservative ideals. He donated his time and money to less fortunate people; be it family, friends or strangers.

He did guardian ad litem. He volunteered at my mother’s schools helping children who had issues at home (sick parents, latchkey kids due to the demands of their parents work life, etc.) My parents fostered children. He instilled in me a sense of responsibility and justice. He believed that the money his business earned should be shared with the people that earned it. He also has a passion for art - cinema, music and television.

My mother lived many lives before I knew her - lived in Egypt, Tunisia, Afghanistan, Naples, Libya (where my uncle was born) and went to a French Boarding school. She spent time in Russia. She was worldly and a little wild (she smoked cigarettes in a different life!) and taught me about emotional intelligence. She has a passion for music! And she loves a great story. Both my parents are readers.

My parents also taught me kindness. The value of hard work. The importance of integrity. And the dangers of greed. They allowed me to be exposed to all people - I went to school in the suburbs, the city (insomuch as Winston-Salem may be known as a city) and the country. My parents had friends from all walks of life and made sure I understood that it was the character of a person, not their possessions, that matter. I was never judged for my friends, so long as they treated others with respect.

This is not to say I had an idyllic childhood. Far from it. I had my fair share of troubles - some self-inflicted and some unearned. But, I did have access to a world very few do. I never truly wanted for anything in my life (even when I was couch surfing in college or living on bologna and cheese sandwiches for a year) and I have always had a cushy safety net.

So, I have lived, to this point, a life of relative ease. I was able to pay off my college loans at 27 when I bought a home with no money down AND I got a first time home buyer’s credit. Thanks Obama indeed. My parents always made sure I had a working car, so I was able to be employed throughout college and build a resume - I was a manager twice before I graduated from college. I worked in newspapers, restaurants, retail and construction. We have had financial assistance for so many things (wedding, housing, transportation and more).

The number of advantages I’ve had that I can’t count probably far outweigh the ones I’m aware of. It culminated in me have the financial freedom and ability to take a year off of work. My degree, experience and resources give me near limitless opportunities.

But I have even more beyond that. I’ve been in a stable relationship for 17 years. I’ve been married for almost 11. My wife also had an immensely privileged upbringing. We have been essentially debt free for over a decade. She has an excellent job that values her and compensates her well. She, more than anything, is making this possible and I am incredibly fortunate to have the relationship that I do.

And I wanted to get all this out in the open before I start this because I want two things to be clear -

1. I know I’ve still got blind spots. I’m always open to talking about them. I also understand my perspective can be tainted. I believe healthy dialog is a path to better understanding and I have had many people extend kindness and graciousness to me to help me through my learning process.

2. I may not always be the writer for you and that’s fine. I do not take it personally and I hope you don’t either. There are a ton of other resources out there from voices that are far more urgent or important than mine. I think they deserve to be lifted up and I will do my best to help with that. I’m not here to wage war on anyone, just to have a space to share my thoughts for anyone who might want them.

I am going to take this time to ruminate. What a heavy word. The internet has opened our eyes to the atrocities of our world in real time. I need a space for me to reflect and share. I hope you find something here. Something for us to connect on. Something for you to challenge me on. Maybe something to help you see the world in a different light the way so many people have helped me before.

P.S. Here’s an hour of music for your weekend, check it out and let me know what you think: